Making New Year's Resolutions
Most people make New Year's resolutions based on what they want to stop doing, verses what they want to do. Stop it. Seriously. How's that working for you? Many of us feel really good about making the resolution to lose weight, stop smoking, etc. But hardly any of us actually follow through with them. Sure, that extra boost of motivation is great...but is it worth the year's worth of doing the same ole same that will follow?
Instead of trying to stop doing something, focus on what you want to do. Where do you see yourself at the end of the year? Who do you see yourself as? Really think about those questions when you are making your resolutions. Don't just say the standard, it already hasn't gotten you anywhere. Picture yourself a year from now, doing whatever it is that you really WANT to do. Sure you might see yourself as a non-smoker or a thinner you, but what else do you see? Focus on the big picture, see yourself from every angle. You're excited now aren't you?
Now write down everything that you see. Don't just focus on one aspect here, but everything. Your thinner, not smoking, have a new place, a clean place, a new job, your own business...you get the point. Write it down even if it seems small, like that shirt you are wearing that you do not own yet.
Glance through everything you have written down, and see if you cannot find any common denominators. For the sake of example, lets go with what I see. I see myself in a new and clean home, working from home, living my life fully, free, non-smoking, fit, happy and content. I see myself with a robust social life and being able to handle all that life throws at me. To narrow that down into categories, I narrowed it to personal goal, finance goal, and health goal. Some of these things are already in place, and will be when you do yours....there is some things you like about where you are right now, right?
Now make a broad, general statement that encompasses that image in your head for each of the three categories. I do mean broad...you have a year to accomplish these goals! Some statements could include (using the example above), I will be a better person at then end of next year then I am now, I will be financially independent at the end of next year, I will be healthier at the end of next year then I am now, etc. Remember, you have a full 365 days to accomplish these goals!
Keeping New Year's Resolutions
I know the above goes against everything you have ever learned about making goals. They are definitely not SMART goals, though they are time bound, and actually measurable. I have found that if I make a definite goal for a year, I will take all year to do it...and probably wind up at the end of the year no better then I was the year before. Or I forget about it Jan 2nd...or shortly thereafter, once again, I have all year to do it, right? Sound familiar?
Its easier to keep a broad goal because it is inherently flexible. You can create goals around them, without feeling trapped by something you promised months ago. New Year's resolutions should be end goals, large goals, not something that you can accomplish in a month's time. Where's the fun in that?
Another downside to defined year end goals is the success factor. If you want to lose 40lbs in a year, do so in 6 months, then gain it all back...did you fail? Most of us would say yes, and we are defeated before we even start. But if you want to become healthier then you are now, join a gym, go a few times a month, lose 10lbs, eat more fresh fruit and vegetables and less junk food...have you failed? No, you are healthier then you were a year ago. It takes the pressure off, and you are far more likely to keep a goal you do not feel stressed about.
The key to this is to create smaller goals that will help you reach that ideal by the end of the year. You can do it monthly, quarterly, weekly...whatever floats your boat. I prefer monthly, but that might be too much for others. This keeps you heading towards that end goal, yet remains flexible enough that you can change it as time progresses. Lets stick with the healthier year end goal. In the winter you might lack the motivation to exercise as much, so you focus on eating more fruits and vegetables, but as spring nears, you suddenly feel much more motivated to exercise. Bathing suit season is coming up you know. Perhaps you have dropped a few pounds already, that can be highly motivating.
You build on the goals you have already accomplished, instead of arbitrarily doing things randomly. Doesn't that already sound more motivating then lose 40lbs in a year? Baby steps are truly the key to having a successful year end. Life is going to happen, wouldn't you feel much better knowing that you were taking steps towards getting what you want...instead of throwing in the towel?
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